A Quiet Moment
by teaandcharcoalforbreakfast
Summary: John and Karkat finally get the chance to talk face to face on LOFAF, and just maybe Karkat won't blow everything for once. Prequel to my Game Breakers series, but makes sense without reading it. Johnkat pale romance.


As said earlier, this is a prequel to my Game Breakers series. It's just a little bit of pale fluff I wanted to post before this week's bigger story.

Enjoy.

* * *

The three years on the meteor had changed a lot. I'd grown, matured. And I _thought_ I'd realized what a fucking waste of time romance was when we were supposed to be making a whole new universe. I thought after the Terezi debacle I'd given up on dating all together, because I'm a fucking mutant and not worth anyone's time anyway. I thought I'd gotten completely over John.

Then we met face to face. When I'd spied on him through trollian I'd watched a boy. He was soft and short with wide eyes that were innocent and childish. His voice had barely dropped, and as soon as he'd feel the slightest twinge of emotion (which was most of the time) it would crack. Of course, I wasn't any better off, but that wasn't the point. My sixteen-year-old self looked back and basically saw a wriggler. Sometimes I wondered what I'd been thinking being attracted to him.

But then I landed in the grass next to everyone else who'd been on the meteor, looked up, and saw him in all of his fully-realized post-pubescent god-pajama-wearing glory. My stomach slipped through my spine and into the ground and my heart threatened to shove my lungs clean out of my chest cavity. It was twice as bad as three years ago and happened in half the time. I closed my eyes and thumped my head against the ground.

"_Fuck me," _I thought. _"Fuck me with Kanaya's lipstick chainsaw." _

Luckily, before I could blow it and say something stupid, shit went down. I got to have a short talk with Kanaya (she didn't fucking help, though. She told me to try my luck and just warned me that humans had a tendency to lump all the quadrants together and that it might take us some time to figure out pailing) but then I too busy catching hummingbirds and then chasing stupid, stupid, stupid flying assholes and fighting to really worry about it.

For a while, that is. Eventually we hit another boring part but that time the two of us were alone. So we talked. And somehow we got into friendship and Gamzee and all of that bullshit that I was trying to move past. And he was so fucking sympathetic the hole time, nodding and making all of the right affirmative noises at the right moments. He had this look of absolute pity on his face and I wanted to strangle him because it was making my heart do weird shit again. It wasn't fair! He didn't even like boys!

"Yeah, Karkat, about that…"

That was when I realized what I'd said out loud, turned bright red, and tried to hide my face in my sweater.

"I'm not so sure anymore."

"What?" I looked up, trying to keep my eyes from sparkling with hope I knew would be squashed.

"Honestly, Karkat? Jade and I talked a lot, and puberty kind of hit me with a truck, and I still like girls but I think I might like boys too? But I've still never really felt that way about anyone I really knew I think? I don't know. It's complicated. But it doesn't really matter anyway."

"I-it doesn't?" And there it went. Woosh, Karkat's tiny blip of happiness and faith out the window, to the graveyard where every other hope spot I'd ever had had been ever so unceremoniously dumped.

"Well, I mean, you said that what you really wanted was a moirail, right?"

"_Actually, John, I will fucking take you in any quadrant you want me because I am still a huge fucking tool." _

"Even if I am completely straight – and I might be, who knows? – I think I can be your moirail. I mean, it's just like friendship on steroids, right?"

"It's a little more nuanced than that," I said. _"Why the fuck are you fighting this you goddamn idiot! Stop, stop, just take it while you have the chance!" _"There's sort of more of an element of commitment. And for trolls it's a lot more intimate. Most of the time you're the ones who live together. Black and flushed quadrants don't usually last too long, and they end explosively. Moirails… normally they last."

"So you get like a bropartment and then friend-married?"

"If you want to put it like that, I guess it's close enough."

He grinned, bright eyes and buck teeth and perfect, perfect, _perfect. _"Well, our new world is gonna be really messed up anyway. And I really like you too and I think we might not have time to talk about it more fir a while. Let's give it a shot!"

"D-do you mean it?"

"Yeah!"

"John, I-"

I wanted to say something more, but I just stared at him like an idiot. So he pulled me into a massive hug. I was shorter than him, even shorter than I am now, so he almost completely wrapped around me. I felt whole and safe in a way I never had with Gamzee. His body was warm and strong, but giving in that mammalian way, and there was something about his smell: warm and musky but still clean because of those amazing pajamas.

I started to cry. And I had been starting to doubt that 'made for each other' thing. Even if I'd had to make him for myself. Maybe that was why Rose and Kanaya had lasted so long. Maybe Dave and Terezi would even go back because Gamzee was-

But I didn't want to think about that. I just wanted to think about John wrapping around me.

"Are you okay there, Karkat?"

"I'm fucking perfect."

"Karkat-"

"I'm happy, okay?"

"Oh." His voice softened and I felt him smile into my hair.

He wasn't purring or humming or chirping, but I thought that maybe humans didn't do any of those things. He certainly seemed happy enough, and he was reciprocating the hug, so I went for it. I tipped my head up and kissed him.

He yanked away and straightened up. His eyes were wide and his pupils nearly eclipsed his irises. I'd never seen that sort of expression before and I had no idea what it meant.

"Y-you kissed me." He said disbelievingly.

"Yes? Is something wrong?"

"Holy shit. That's not- I thought- wait, is this a cultural thing?"

"What are you talking about?" My heart felt like it plunged down to my heels. Yep, out the window. Graveyard. Dead.

"Kissing. Where I'm from it's not platonic. So it kind of surprised me."

"Oh."

"Is it for you?"

"Yeah. I mean, matesprits and kismises do it too, but there there's usually more intent."

"Well then," He smiled again and pressed a kiss of his own to my lips. "I guess it's okay!"

"John…" I was going to cry again, so I did it into his magically clean, magically dry shirt.

He laughed lightly and patted my back soothingly. His other hand ruffled my hair and I chirped when he brushed one of my horns.

"Oh, what was that?"

"Shut up!"

"Now that's my Karkitty."

"Don't fucking call me that! You know what? Don't call me nicknames fucking ever! If I so much as catch you _thinking _of replacing the second half of my name with something stupid I am going to take my sickle and stuff it up your-" Then he caressed both of my horns with his stupid giant puppy-paw hands not only did I let out a chirp, it turned into a long, rolling purr.

"That's such a cute little noise, Kar-candy."

"The fuck did I just say!" But my argument was undermined by the fact that I couldn't stop purring.

He giggled like a female wriggler and then nuzzled me between my horns, but he took his hands off of them. I didn't know whether to be relieved or sad. "Okay, okay, I'll stop." He took a step back but grabbed both of my hands him his, swinging them in and out.

"You jumped on this pretty quickly," I grumbled.

"I don't know. It just feels good, feels right." He laughed, "Jeez, Karkat. I talked to you for one day three years ago, but it's like- it's like a really really shitty movie. And you know how much I love shitty movies. Is this what it's always like?"

"If you're lucky," I said.

"Was it like this with Gamzee?"

"I'm not asking about your exes on the first date, am I?"

He laughed, "Karkat, I don't even have an ex! I spent the last three years on a boat with my sister, a half bird copy of my best friend, a bunch of amphibians, and some chess people."

"Right."

"So, I guess you can teach me, then?"

I looked away. "You're pretty good at it already."

"Hey Karkat?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this a date?"

"Well, you're here. And I'm here. And we're alone. And I just-"

Then something exploded not too far away. We broke apart and looked. A column of smoke rose above the trees.

"Fuck!" I shouted.

"Come on, let's go!" And then the asshole started floating away.

"I can't fly, dumbass!"

The wind blew harder, catching my body and lifting me. It brought me close to its master, who chuckled gave me another chaste little kiss. "We can do more of this later, okay?"

"Right."

"And then you'll tell me what counts as a date in your messed up culture!"

"Ugh…"

I pulled out my sickles and let him carry us off to the battle, trying not to let thoughts of feelings jams and move marathons and an immeasurable amount of snuggling cloud my mind. After all, I had a real reason to live driving me now. I didn't want to fuck it up.


End file.
